Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Let's Go Batty

Chased by a coffin

A man is walking home alone late on Halloween night.
It's dark, and the streetlights are out. Suddenly, he hears
BUMP!
BUMP!
BUMP!
Behind him. He walks faster, but the sound keeps coming.
BUMP!
BUMP!
BUMP!
Worried he is being followed, he glances behind him and through the darkness, and he can just see an upright coffin.
No one seems to be holding the coffin; it's just bumping down the street behind him.
The man is scared. He's sure it's following him! In an effort to shake it off, her turns a corner. To his relief, the sound stops. He keeps walking but before a minute has passed, he hears the familiar sound behind him again:
BUMP!
BUMP!
BUMP!
He is terrified! He starts to run towards his home, but the faster he runs, the faster the coffin bounces along behind him!
Bumpity BUMP!
Bumpity BUMP!
Bumpity BUMP!
He pushes open his front gate, and runs up the path, fumbling for his keys. The coffin reaches the gate and effortlessly pushes it open. It's right behind him!!!
Finally his shaking hands manage to unlock his front door. He has no time to slam it behind him; the coffin is right on his heels! He rushes up the stairs, praying the coffin cannot climb after him.
BUMP!
BUMP!
BUMP!
The coffin pauses at the bottom of the stairs. The man breathes a sigh of relief but ...
clappity BUMP...
clappity BUMP...
clappity BUMP...
The coffin is now climbing the stairs behind him. He runs to the bathroom perhaps he can lock himself in there! His heart pounds and his lungs hurt with the exertion of running for his life! He has only just latched the bathroom door when ...
CRASH!!!
The coffin breaks through the bathroom door!
What can he do? The coffin is nearly upon him! He reaches out for something heavy that he can throw at the coffin, and his hand comes to rest on a large bottle of cough syrup.
Desperately, he throws the cough syrup as hard as he can at the coffin and
...........
...........
(Wait for it)
...........
...........
..........finally the coffin stops!!

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