Monday, December 31, 2007

Top Ten Reasons Why God Made Eve

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.

9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.

8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.

7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's dentist's or haircut appointment by himself.

6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.

5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.

3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, "It is not good for man to be alone."

And finally, the #1 reason why God created Eve....

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that!"

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Laughable Pictures~Well Perhaps

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Saturday, December 29, 2007

12 Uses For Plastic Lids

1.Sink stoppers: placing a plastic lid over a drain will create a vacuum and keep the water in your sink or tub.
2.Kid coasters: let the tykes monogram plastic lids to keep their glasses from getting mixed up and from sweating all over the table tops.
3.Cupboard and refrigerator drip pans: shove one under your pepper mill to catch the excess pepper that sifts out the bottom. Ditto for honey containers and all those other drippy things in the fridge.
4.Plant coasters: not only will they catch leaks, they’ll prevent rings on your furniture.
5.Non-stick pan scrapers: they’ll remove the yuck without damaging your pan’s surface.
6.Hamburger separators: slip lids between shaped patties before you freeze them, and then when it’s time to thaw them, they’ll be easy to separate.
7.Paint catchers: cut a hole in a lid, slip the handle of your paint brush through it, and voila, a paint catcher thing-y.
8.Plastic garbage bag closers: cut a slit in a plastic lid and then feed the top of your garbage bag through it for a securely closed bag.
9.Paint palettes: plastic lids are a great way to manage your paints while doing those little craft projects.
10.Glitter and bead management: if you're using loose glitter or beads for a project, keep them under control with an inverted plastic lid.
11.Glue catchers: slip a lid under your hot glue gun to catch drips.
12.Rust ring preventers: placing a plastic lid under your shaving cream will prevent the bottom of the can from making rust rings on your shower shelf or tub edge.

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Friday, December 28, 2007

Southern University Psychology

At a southern university, students in the psychology program were attending their first class on emotional extremes.
"Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "what is the opposite of joy?"
"Sadness," said the student.
"And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma.
"Elation," she said.
"And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "what about the opposite of woe?"
The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be 'giddy up' ."

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Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Some Christmas Pics I found In My Surfing

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Sunday, December 23, 2007

I Do Stuff Like This A Lot

Whose bright idea was it to invite Frosty

to our hot tub party?

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Santa Like You've Never Seen Him Before

Santa Claus is a recent feature of Christmas in Japan and sometimes a few details get lost in translation. Sometimes a lot does. Here's a list of the Top Ten Strange Santas from Japan.

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Are We Lacking Common Sense?

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Saturday, December 22, 2007

A Few Links For Your Christmas Pleasure

16 Serious Questions Raised by "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer
World’s Most Unusual Christmas Trees
Christmas Traditions Around the World
Christmas Wasn't Always Like This: It Used to Be Much Worse
Saint Nicholas ::: Discovering the Truth About Santa Claus
Christmas Crafts and Printable Activities
Department Store Christmas Catalogs
10 Office Holiday Party Landmines to Avoid
Knit your own Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo doll (via)

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Friday, December 21, 2007

My Sexy Name Decoded~Growwwwllllllll

Playful Amorous Minx Exchanging Lustful Affection and Arousing, Naughty Necking

Get Your Sexy Name

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Thursday, December 20, 2007

Ahhhh yes. This word called blogging. What a funny sounding word if you ask me.The picture above pretty much sums up my feeling about writing
things that make me face reality. I mean what fun is there in that?My inner child is constantly kicking me in the shins reminding me to not take life so seriously.
Some people write to spill their guts , but that's too messy
and besides there is no clean-up crew to dispose of them for me.
Would like to take this time to wish you all a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Hannukah, or however you celebrate.
The year 2007 has been a dismal one for so many people,
I hope and pray 2008 will be an awesome year for everyone!
Be kind and play nice with others and remember that includes
in-laws.Big chuckles !

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Hard at work:

I found this on the internet and you may have seen it. If not I think it will make you laugh!
These men are concreting steel pillars into the ground to stop vehicles from parking on the pavement in front of a sports bar down town.
They are cleaning up at the end of the day.
How long do you think it will take for them to realize where their vehicle is parked?

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Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Sandy Santa Claus

On Christmas eve sand sculptor Sudarshan Patnaik created Santa in sand on the Puri beach in India. Measuring 100 feet by 30 feet and 15 feet high, it is the largest ever recorded image of Santa anywhere in the world.
Sudarshan’s Santa is likely to claim a place in the Limca Book of World Records.
It took 1000 tons of sand, 200 labourers, 40 hours and 15 associates to create the huge piece of sand art.

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Friday, December 14, 2007

Cruel Disney

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Now You Know Where Fruitcake Comes From

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Want a Crazy Christmas Read?

Here is a book I highly recommend. Hillarious but at the same time a bit frightening. It is
a book that I will definitely read over and over again. Why? Because I am a strange ladeee!

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Fireweed and mountains in the yukon territory, Canada. More gorgeous scenery can be seen

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Thursday, December 13, 2007

No Captioning Needed

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Toilet Paper Fashion Flair

view more fashions at this link

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Wednesday, December 12, 2007

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~Men's Views on Life In General~

Female Friends:
Men do not recognize female friends. There are male friends and potential dates; that's it.
The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty Is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.

Foreign Facial Matter :
If a man has something on his face, such as a hair, food, dirt, or beer foam, a man is not obligated to warn him about it. It is up to his discretion on whether or not to inform him of the foreign matter. UNDER ABSOLUTELY NO CIRCUMSTANCES IS A MAN TO WIPE THE FOREIGN MATERIAL OFF THE OTHER MAN'S FACE. NO EXCEPTIONS
On a related law, a man is to try to wipe off foreign material off a womans breast no matter how small.
Girl "Dibs" Guideline :

If a man expresses interest in a woman to his friends, he has dibs, or exclusive rights to her. For a guy to call dibs, said woman must know his name and be in his league. Dibs are automatically broken if said woman shoots him down or flirts with one of said friends. Dibs expire after a period of two weeks and cannot be called again by said man on said woman. At this point said friends have every right to call dibs on said woman.
High Fives :

If two men are to high five each other and their hands miss, it is not permissible to attempt another high five. That would be comparable to holding hands.
Honorary Manhood
A woman qualifes for honorary manhood if she displays 2 out of 3 of the following:
She is as competent as the guys at burping and farting.
She consistently beats the guys at any man game.
She engages in man talk fluently and often.
Honorary manhood has the following implications:
All rights and responsibilities of the Man Code apply as if she were a man.
Men don't flirt with other men, not even honorary ones.
Man Hugs (Mugs) :

Are to be done only with one arm
Each other's face should not come to close to each other
Violently pat on back
Nearly break the other guy's rib cage
Men do not linger
Man Touch:

If man A touches man B in the crotch or buttocks, whether accidental or on purpose, man B is required to punch man A in the face.
An exception to this rule occurs however if man A is congratulating man B on an outstanding play made in a sporting event by slapping the buttocks of man B. Only brief contact may be made. Any prolonged touching does not apply to this exception and will result in man B punching man A in the face.
One other exception-Contact may be fleetingly made to another man's crotch if it is to jimmy-tap, punch, or otherwise cause the other man to keel over in pain, inciting laughter from other men nearby.
Physique Comments:

A man is to not comment on another mans physique of any kind, unless in the name of humor.
Relationship Rules :

No man is allowed to make fun of or negatively coment on any other man's hookup, girlfriend, FwB, ect., unless he has previously been involved in some sort of relationship with her, thus insulting himself in the process
A man is allowed to date a friend's sister IF and ONLY IF she is older than your friend, and is rated a 7 (on a scale of 1-10) by at least 3 other friends
Men do NOT give relationship advice to other men unless requested. Venting about a woman does NOT imply a request for relationship advice.
If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you intend to marry her.
Do not be a c*ck block. Any attempts to foil another man's potential hook-up are completely unacceptable. Even if said man is your enemy or this blocking is done in the pursuit of humor, it is totally uncool. It is encouraged that the blocker is to be beaten severely and/or referred to as princess for respective periods of time.

A man is obligated to provide wingman services to guys who are good friends. The wingman's mission is to help the friend get hooked-up. A wingman is not allowed to discuss the mission, especially if it was a failure. Discussing a secret mission may result in forfeit of future wingman reciprocation and demotion of friend status.
Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party or bar hopping, in doing so, surrenders any right to life, and lives further only at the mercy of other Men.

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Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Click on picture for larger image.

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Mayonnaise and Beer by Anonymous

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar...and the beer. A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes." The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. "Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends, your favorite passions--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else--the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal. "Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand." One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers."

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Yummy yoda pizza!

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Kids Believe In The Darndest Things

When I was like four of five, I used to believe that if I stayed in the bath long enough, I would turn into a elephant. It is because you get all wrinkly. To get me out of the bath, my mom would always say "oh, I see a trunk!" and I would jump out crying.

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Tickle Torture Tuesday Images

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