If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow? If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? How many people thought of the Post-It note before it was invented but just didn't have anything to jot it down on? If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him? If sour cream is past its expiration date is it good then? If a tree falls in the forest without anyone there, does it still make a sound? Do the other trees make fun of it? If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress? If quitters never win, and winners never quit, who came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"? If Superglue is so good why doesn't it stick to the inside of the tube? If the folks at the psychic hotlines were really psychic, wouldn't they call you first? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles and submarines be shaped differently? If you have a friend who works for the Psychic Friends Network, do you plan a surprise birthday party for them? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? If the "black box" survives every plane crash, why not make the entire plane out of that stuff? If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into? Instead of talking to your plants, if you yell at them would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure? Isn't it a little scary that a doctor's work is called practice? Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims? Shouldn't it be called a "near hit" rather than a "near miss"? There are 24 hours in a day, and 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man? What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free? When you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
6 years ago