There are at least 3,000 uses for Peanut Butter

Here are but a few:
#Feed large globs of it to your dog for cheap entertainment.
#Mix it with egg whites and ammonia to see if it takes out stains.
#Lace it with cyanide and feed it to Barney.
#Spread it on the dog's back to watch him go crazy.
#Squish it between your fingers in the lunchroom muttering "Only two more hours and I have so much left to study..."
#Plug holes in your paneling walls.
#Make sure you have some stuck in your fingernails whenever you go on a blind date.
#Carry it around in your duffel in case of emergencies.
#Use it to stick things if you run out of duct tape.
#If you see a freshly poured sidewalk drying drop globs of Peanut Butter into the cement to create "holes" later.
#Drop it from a plane over Ethiopia to feed all the starving children.
#Keep a jar in your car because it rhymes.
#Have an art class paint "still life" pictures of it.
#Have the astronauts leave some of it in orbit.
#Rub it on sore muscles.
#Save it up so you will have plenty during your retirement years.
#Make "Cream of Peanut Butter" soup.
#Plug up the nursery's electric outlets to protect little fingers.