Horrorscopes Can You Take It?

I am an Aries. (Also known as "Ram") My Horroscope starts like this:
" Aggressive to the extreme, the Aries is primitive - warlike and cruel. Not the sharpest tool in the shed, he often has trouble remembering the simplest of things. The Aries will often try to backstab his peers, but luckily, he usually lacks the mental capacity to succeed. He is vulgar and blunt, and incapable of subtelty. " (Read more Find yours)