On the Internet nobody knows you're not 18 and blonde.*Chat rooms: where you can talk without putting your teeth in.*Every day above ground is a victory.*I love the smell of bedpans in the morning.*Think of varicose veins as a 3-D tattoo.*I wouldn't have any wrinkles if I was 5 feet taller.*Who added Jack Kevorkian to my speed dialer?*They say age builds character. Any questions?*Never trust a funeral home with a timesharing arrangement.*Life: birthstones, RollingStones, gallstones, headstones.*Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.*Consciousness is that annoying time between naps. *Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. *Old age is one big Out of Memory error.*I've frozen and I can't reboot.
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