"All generalizations are false."
"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."
"Time is what keeps everything from happening at once."
"I love cats ... they taste just like chicken" (Supposedly seen outside a Chinese restaurant ... I suppose that Item #2 was labeled as 'sweet and sour tabby')
"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."
"Forget the Joneses, I keep up with the Simpsons."
"Born Free......... Taxed to Death"
"Cover me. I'm changing lanes."
"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools"
"The more people I meet, the more I like my dog."
"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."
"Conserve toilet paper, use both sides."
"I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!"
"Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep"
"All men are Idiots, and I married their King!"
"SAVE A TREE: Eat a beaver"
"Work is for people who don't know how to fish"
"Montana --- At least our cows are sane!"
"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian."
"It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you."
"If you don't like the news, go out and make some." (No doubt popular with Post Office employees)
"I Brake For No Apparent Reason." (That's a popular one down here in FL and can usually seen on a car in the extreme left lane traveling at 45 mph)
"When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS."
"Sorry, I don't date outside my species."
"Friends don't let Friends drive Naked."
"No Radio - Already Stolen" (in the Heathen Northeast they say that 'BMW' stands for Break My Window')
"Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges."
"I took an IQ test and the results were negative."
"Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?"
"If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?"
"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!"
"Learn from your parents mistakes - use birth control!"
"Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!"
5 years ago