Three missionaries, two of them Presbyterians of good breeding and education and one a Free Will Baptist from the sticks, were captured by cannibals. They were taken to a guarded tent and thrown in.One of the Presbyterian preachers hollered, "What are you going to do with me?"A cannibal guard stuck his head in and replied, "We're going to fatten you up one at a time, boil you, eat you, and use your skin to make a big canoe."Within an hour, a huge meal was served to this minister, who was quite hungry and snarfed it all down, after which he was dragged out of the tent, never to be seen again.The second minister bawled, "Guard! What are you going to do to me?!"The cannibal poked his head in the tent, rolled his eyes, and said, "We're going to fatten you up, boil you, eat you, and use your skin to make a big canoe."And just like with the first preacher, this one was promptly served a huge meal, which he devoured quickly because of his hunger, after which he was dragged out of the tent, never to be seen again.The Free Will Baptist minister had stayed silent through all of this. The cannibal stuck his head in to see why the fellow wasn't demanding to know the details of his fate and saw that the guy was just sitting there. The cannibal shrugged his shoulders and handed him the big meal.A little later, the cannibal stuck his head in the tent, and the first thing he saw was that the meal was untouched; then he realized that the Baptist was over in the corner stabbing himself all over his back and stomach with the fork that had been provided with the food.The cannibal yelled, "What th' Hell are you DOING?!!" to which the heavily bleeding man replied:"Ain't nobody gonna make a canoe outta ME!"
6 years ago