Thursday, January 18, 2007

Bible Study Group Runs Out Of Things To Study

Reverend Bill Jacobs and his congregation finally called an end to their Tuesday night Bible Study last week after running out of subjects to study.
"Well, we've pretty much covered everything now," said Jacobs. "I mean, there's the Old Testament, right? Where God hates us. We already went over all of that I think. And then there's the New Testament, where we are forgiven. We covered that pretty thoroughly last month. I mean, really, it's only one book.

The King Cliffs version of the Bible that Jacobs' is so fond of. Grated, it's a long one but still, a book is a book. I'm done."
Study group member Judy Sinclair seemed unnerved by the announcement.
"I've never been part of a Bible study group that was declared 'complete' by its leader," says a visibly shaken Sinclair. "All the groups I've ever been involved with have ended by grinding themselves to a halt once the weather gets nice. I'm not sure what to make of it. Do we really understand everything about the Bible and our faith?"
Reverend Jacobs thinks so. "Sure they do, they understand as much as anyone," says Jacobs. "The only thing that is gained by studying the minutiae of the Bible is an overwhelming feeling of doubt. That thing contradicts itself so many times that it's better to just study the main points and hope for the best. To successfully lead your flock you have to remember that sheep are easily confused."

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