Thursday, November 30, 2006

Do You Want Nuts On That




Top 10 Ways to Tell if Your Ice Cream Man is Nuts
By Footey***10. he escaped his mental institution by piecing together old ice cream sandwich wrappers and lowering himself out the window 9. he is your nutty buddy 8. he thought selling ice cream in january was a good way to avoid competition 7. he pumps out that annoying music at a measly 640 watts 6. he got tired of driving around and just decided to park on the street corner and let his business come to him.....only he parked next to the entrance to baskin robbins 5. while selling ice cream in january he offers snow cones made real snow...don't eat the yellow ones 4. he doesn't own a refrigerated truck 3. he asks for the money up-front and then he licks your ice cream right before he hands it to you 2. his other job is a mail man....he did both jobs at the same time until that day when he gave little johnny a the smith's income tax return check and placed a cherry snow cone in the smith's mailbox 1. he thought it would a good idea to change the business as we know it...he sits in his truck at the corner and calls each house on his cell. phone, he figures...what's one more telemarketing call while the family is eating supper

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Yeah Even M&M's Have It Made



Guess who /what has their own website. The pics give it away but isn't it just so unfair?http://www.m-ms.com/ Happiness is just a click away and oh there are games there too!

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Duel Of The M&M's



M&M Duels
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.
There can be only one.

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Customizer King _ Awesome


BARRIS KUSTOM INDUSTRIES. George Barris creates kustom, TV and movie cars. The movie studios had taken note of Barris kustoms on the streets and at races and came to George for cars for their films.One of the first films Barris made cars for was called 'High School Confidential.' The success of the initial movie car venture motivated George to seek business in Hollywood.This included customizing the personal cars of the stars as well. As the past forty plus years have shown, this association with the studios and stars has been long and fascinating.{{I didn't realize these vehicles were all designed by the same person. I think you may be surprised also.}}

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Gander At Ghandi


Mahatma Ghandi walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard. He also was a spiritual person. Even when he was not on a hunger strike, he ate very little and became frail. Furthermore, due to his diet, he wound up with very bad breath.Therefore, he came to be known as a:"super calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis."

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Mama's Never Change Much


PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!"MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money you father and I spent on braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?'" HUMPTY DUMPTY'S MOTHER: "Humpty, If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times not to sit on the wall. But would you listen to me? Noooo!"COLUMBUS'S MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered Christopher, you could have written!"BABE RUTH'S MOTHER: "Babe, How many times have I told you--quit playing baseball in the house! that's the third window you've broken this week!"MICHAELANGELO'S MOTHER: " Mike, can't you paint on walls lie other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right Napoleon. If you're not hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it!"ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"BARNEY'S MOTHER: "I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney, but you're starting to look a little purple!"MARY'S MOTHER: "I'm not upset the you lamb followed you to school, Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you!"BATMAN'S MOTHER: "It's a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much the insurance will be!"GOLDILOCK'S MOTHER: "I've got a bill here for a busted chair from the bear family. You know anything about this Goldie?"LITTLE MISS MUFFET'S MOTHER: "Well, all I've got to say is if you don't get of your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there'll be a lot more spiders around here!"ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But, Albert, it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something....?"GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"JONAH'S MOTHER: "That's a nice story, but now tell me where you've really been for the past 3 days!"SUPERMAN'S MOTHER: "Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and we've decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit spending so much time in all those phone booths!" And finally...THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb, dear. Now turn off that light and get to bed!"

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Forward Pass


The huge college freshman figured he'd try out for the football team. "Can you tackle?" asked the coach."Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters."Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed. Can you run?""Of course I can run," said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash."Great!" enthused the coach. "But can you pass a football?"The freshman rolled his eyes, hesitated for a few seconds. "Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."

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A Video Postcard From Me To You



THE WONDER OF IT ALL.Do you ever wonder of the wonder of it all?

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This is the result of what comments are all about-

This is my first attempt at using a generator tip from someone who took the time to comment. This is a thank-you to that person. Your comments are greatly appreciated!!

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Let The Ringtones Do The Talking


Brazil Indians sell chanting cellphone ringtones 30 ***
SAO PAULO: Xavante Indians living on the southern edge of Brazil's Amazon rainforest plan to start selling ringtones of traditional chants like the hunt song and the healing dance to cell phone users in China and Europe.
Brazilian cell phone users can already download the tones for about $US1.40 ($NZ2.10) each and 100 Xavante in the remote Sao Pedro village in Mato Grosso state have been profiting from the sales for the past few months, said Gilson Schwartz, coordinator of an aide group called Cidade Movel.
His group helps riverside communities in the Amazon find alternative sources of income in a region where most people live without modern conveniences and economic growth usually depends on mining or logging the forest.
"We want to create a business model of social content for the wireless phone industry," he said.
Brazil's four leading cell phones companies offer the ringtones. Cell phone operators and companies that distribute content to them take a portion of the sales.
The project has generated tens of thousands of dollars for the Xavante and several other impoverished rural communities, Schwartz said.

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Wednesday, November 29, 2006

A Twix Bar Bares All -The Naked Truth



For everyone who has pondered "Why does my Twix Bar have holes in the middle?" The truth will now be told . Your life may be changed forever now. Ta-daaaaaaaa- The holes don't go all the way through. They're more like little pockets to house some of the candy's caramel.

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Christmas Hot Links Without The Eggs& Toast



The Star Wars Christmas Album. Worst album ever?
Planet Garp - Really Bad Christmas Gifts.
Weird Christmas Decorations.
Make your own snowflake.
Beatles Christmas Records. Free MP3's.
Santa Needs A Holiday. Santa cartoons.
Game. Try a spot of Elf Throwing. Quite addictive and very similar to one of the Yeti games on the net.
World's Tallest Lighted Living Christmas Tree Over 150 Feet.
Mistletoe and Meat. Funny advent calender.
Happy Holidays. Holiday cards to download and print.
Nasty the Snowman. Flash.
Build your own snowman.
I'm sorry... but Santa’s Not Coming This Year.
Virtual Snowglobe.

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Small Wonder The Show Was Cancelled **

I didn't watch the show ever, but i have seen this annoying doll before .The scary thing is many new androids are beginning to look more and more human.Maybe that is why plastic surgery is so commonplace too. Who knows that star you have been drooling over just may well be an android. Spooky thought isn't it?
Anybody remember the Small Wonder TV series which ran from 1985-1989? It starred Tiffany Brissette as Vicki the android girl.

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Facts About Nesting Dolls- Interesting


A nesting doll, or Matryoshka, is a Russian wooden doll with smaller dolls stacked within the bigger ones.A nesting doll is considered to be a symbol of motherhood and fertility.A mother doll with numerous dolls children perfectly expresses the oldest symbol of human culture.The most traditional nesting doll design is one that looks like a young Russian woman dressed in Russian native costume with a scarf on her head.Today, there are all sorts of nesting dolls, varying from Christmas, music, films, sports to political nesting dolls. (via Grow A Brain)

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Adoreable Jesus Doll


Jesus Comes To Play.He sings, He prays, He wears a cross necklace, He's soft. His clothes and sandals are removable! (via J-Walk Blog) I seriously want some feedback on the link as I usually don't post things like this, but do u think I am wrong in thinking that this doll is very cute?
To me, he looks more feminine and hippyish to be our Lord. To me it's a way of showing a child that Jesus is everywhere and he needs our love too.What are your thoughts?Please comment**

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100 Greatest Catchphrases In T.V. History




TV Land recently released its list of the 100 greatest catchphrases in TV history. A few observations:
6 are from Saturday Night Live
“Hey Hey Hey!” is on the list twice. One is from “Fat Albert.” Can you remember where other comes from? Check the list for the answer.
“Heh heh” is all Beavis and Butthead had to say to make the list.
Dan Aykroyd is on the list twice for “Wild and crazy guys” and “Jane, you ignorant slut,” both from SNL.
William Shatner is also on the list twice. Once for “Denny Crane” and once for “Space, the final frontier.”
10 of the catchphrases are from commercials.
Check out the rest of the list.

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Jack In the Box On Sale At Ebay


Literally------------

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Hey Dummy We Need That



Burglars Tie Up Victim With PlayStation CordLAST UPDATE: 11/28/2006 12:38:02 AM
Video
Armed burglars break into a home and tie up a victim with a PlayStation cord. Moments later, they untied the man when the realized they needed the cord for the game they stole.
The burglars forced their way into the home on Chesterwood Court in Springdale just after 7:00 p.m. Monday.
They demanded money at gunpoint and ransacked the home.
One of the victims said the burglars got away in a blue or green Ford Explorer with temporary tags.
No one was hurt.

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Piano Tuna


Woman ordered to pay £1000 for putting tuna fish in piano
The ex-girlfriend of X Factor favorite Ben Mills has been ordered to pay the wannabe popstar £1,000 after she threw a tin of tuna into his beloved piano.Anna Barrett, 28, took her revenge on Mills after he took up with her best friend, actress Siobhan Hewlett.She trashed Mills’ flat and punched Siobhan in a jealous rage; they took Barratt to court over her bad behaviour.Speaking in court, Barratt’s lawyer told the court in Canterbury: She’s deeply sorry.”I'm assuming it was opened.

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The IKEA Experience -Well The Parking Part Anyway


Your adventure begins! Drive your vehicle into the IKEA underground PARKING LOT. Your task is to find the fabled PARKING SPOT hidden deep within this toxic cavern. Your search will not be easy, as the PARKING SPOT may not appear until you first qualify by completing several dozen laps. As in all worlds, time is of the essence: If you are unable to find the PARKING SPOT in 180 minutes or less, you may become irritated and leave.Although your vehicle comes equipped with a braking mechanism (the “B” pedal), the secret to success in this world is to never decelerate. If there are cars in front of you, bump them out of the way until you are able to pass. Although you may think it makes sense to slow down while navigating sharp turns, it is almost always quicker to keep your accelerator (the “A” pedal) depressed to the fullest, crash your vehicle into a wall or parked car as you round the corner, and resume acceleration from a standstill.To find the PARKING SPOT you will need to venture down the many lanes throughout the PARKING LOT. WARNING: Always look before entering a lane, as many will contain idiots who have elected to simply stop their Ford Excursions in the middle of the passageway and wait for someone to leave. If you inadvertently find yourself trapped behind one of these morons and have selected a vehicle with side-mounted rocket-launchers, use them now.REMEMBER: Every person you run down in this world is one less you’ll have to deal with in future levels, so never miss an opportunity for carnage!

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Now I Know What I Will Get Hubby For Christmas


TIES4FUN.Crazy, cool, funny and weird novelty neckties.

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History Of Photo Montage


CUT AND PASTE.The art of photomontage could be said to have started just after the First World War, but the manipulation of photographs already had a history going back to the invention of photography in the mid 19th century.A history of photomontage. (6459)(via Life in the Present)

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Things We May See On Mars When We Arrive And Mess Up That Planet Too


SPIRIT BEGINS WORK ON MARS.What will it find? Evidence of past life on Mars? Little green men? Starbucks?The members of Freaking News used their imagination to show what/whom they think Rover will find on Mars.

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Clever Uses For Unwanted AOL Cd/s


WHAT TO DO WITH THOSE STUPID AOL CDs?That is a question that goes through the minds of thousands, if not millions of people.Well, here are some answers. Never again will you have to waste a CD that could be recycled in many, many ways. (6464)(via Rude Dog)

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How Rednecks Care For Their Youngun's

Duct Tape Never Looked So Good Ehhh Timmy?

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Why Do Pigeons Bob Their Heads While Walking?


Dear Cecil:
Can you in your infinite yet magnanimous wisdom explain something that's been troubling me for years? When pigeons bob their heads as they walk is it because their legs are connected to their necks or what? --Dennis A., Highland Park, Illinois++++Dear Dennis:Of course not. As any fool can see, a pigeon's legs are connected to its body--and it's a good thing, because the pigeon would look mighty funny if it were assembled according to the offhand anatomy you describe. Basically the pigeon's back-and-forth head motion--not exactly a bob--helps it keep its balance when walking. The pigeon's legs are located pretty far astern, and if it kept its head forward all the time it would probably tip over. This would expose the pigeon to the ridicule of the community. Instead, what it does is move its chest forward in time with one leg, and its head forward in time with the other leg. Thus some weight is always trailing a little abaft the port beam, as we say. Many fowl have similarly peculiar gaits, because they cannot afford orthopedic shoes.

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These Urls Are Well.............Just Wrong

Top 10 Worst Company URLs
Filed under: Wacky Web — Admin at 3:09 pm on Wednesday, August 2, 2006
The top 10 unintentionally worst company URLEveryone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today’sworld you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain nameselected as other see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to dothis may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companieswho deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn’t givetheir domain names enough consideration:
1. A site called ‘Who Represents’ where you can find the name of the agentthat represents a celebrity. Their domain name… wait for it… iswww.whorepresents.com
2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchangeadvice and views atwww.expertsexchange.com
3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island atwww.penisland.net
4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder atwww.therapistfinder.com
5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company…www.powergenitalia.com
6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New SouthWales:www.molestationnursery.com
7. If you’re looking for computer software, there’s alwayswww.ipanywhere.com
8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website iswww.cummingfirst.com
9. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and theirwhacky website:www.speedofart.com
10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at

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Rich Kids Wish List- They Have Got To Be Kidding!


Can’t Possibly Be True: CNN Money has found 10 toys pitched for kids who, if they don’t think they’re better than you are now, soon will, ranging in price from $3k up to a fancy backyard playset from Netkidswear.com for $97.5k. (Don’t miss the Victorian mansion playhouse [FAO Schwarz, $22k], the Pirate-themed clubhouse [Costco, $18.5k], the Lego Batman [FAO Schwarz, $27k], the gasoline-powered 2-seater [Mobileation Stores, $32.3k], and the Fantasy Cinderella-style Coach [Poshtots, $47k].)

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OTTAWA (Reuters) - A Canadian man who could not figure out how to deal with his girlfriend's feverish 10-month-old daughter put the baby into a freezer to cool her down, a local newspaper reported.
Derrick Hardy faces charges of criminal negligence and assaulting the infant, who was rescued when her mother came home, the Charlottetown Guardian said.
The Canadian Broadcasting Corp. said the mother found the girl crammed into the freezer alongside ice cubes and hamburger meat. Hardy said he had left the door ajar but the mother said it had been closed when she returned.
He told a court in the eastern province of Prince Edward Island on Thursday the child had only been in the freezer for about 40 seconds.
Hardy, 21, who admitted to police that he had no real parenting skills to deal with a sick child, said he had noticed the girl was very hot and put a cool cloth on her face, but this had no effect.
He then carried the girl outside into the night air but, frustrated that this also did not work and worried she might drown if placed in a cold bath, he put the baby into the kitchen freezer. She was wearing only an undershirt.
A local doctor said the mother had described her baby as "crying, sobbing and terrified." The child spent several days in hospital to recover from first- and second-degree freezer burns on her head and torso.
Hardy has pleaded not guilty to the charges. The baby's grandmother now has custody of the baby.

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The Eiffel Tower Hoax


One of the most talented con artists who ever lived was Victor Lustig.Lustig's master con began one spring day when he was reading a newspaper. An article discussed the problems the city was having maintaining the Eiffel Tower. Even keeping it painted was an expensive chore, and the tower was becoming somewhat run down.Lustig adopted the persona of a government official, and had a forger produce fake government stationery for him. Lustig then sent six scrap metal dealers an invitation to attend a confidential meeting to discuss a possible business deal.There, Lustig introduced himself as the deputy Director-General of the Ministry of Posts and Telegraphs. He explained that the dealers had been selected on the basis of their good reputations as honest businessmen, and then dropped his bombshell. Lustig told the group that the upkeep on the Eiffel Tower was so outrageous that the city could not maintain it any longer, and wanted to sell it for scrap.Due to the certain public outcry, he went on, the matter was to be kept secret until all the details were thought out. Lustig said that he had been given the responsibility to select the dealer to carry out the task.Back on the ground, Lustig asked for bids to be submitted the next day, and reminded them that the matter was a state secret. In reality, Lustig already knew he would accept the bid from one dealer, Andre Poisson. Poisson who was insecure, feeling he was not in the inner circles of the Parisian business community, and thought that obtaining the Eiffel Tower deal would put him in the big league. Lustig had quickly sensed Poisson's eagerness.To deal with the suspicious Poisson, Lustig arranged another meeting, and then "confessed". As a government minister, Lustig said, he did not make enough money to pursue the lifestyle he enjoyed, and needed to find ways to supplement his income. This meant that his dealings needed certain discretion.So Lustig not only received the funds for the Eiffel Tower, he also got a bribe on top of that. Lustig and his personal secretary, an American conman named Dan Collins, hastily took a train for Vienna with a suitcase full of cash. He knew the instant that Poisson called the government ministries to ask for further information the whole fraud would be revealed and the law would intervene.A month later, Lustig returned to Paris, selected six more scrap dealers, and tried to sell the Eiffel Tower once more. This time, the mark went to the police before Lustig managed to close the deal, but Lustig still managed to evade arrest.

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Some Diet Facts


A diet is a weigh of life.It's something most of us do religiously: We eat what we want and pray we don't gain weight.The problem with curbing our appetites is that most of us do it at the drive in window of McDonalds.The most fattening thing you can put in an ice cream sundae is a spoon.The biggest drawback to fasting for seven days is that it makes one weak.Sweets are the destiny that shapes our ends.Diets are for people who are thick and tired of it.The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat.Diets are for women who not only kept their girlish figure bit doubled it.A diet is when you have to go to some length to change your width.Many women reduce and reduce, yet still never manage to become a bargain.Most people gain weight by having intimate dinners for two...alone.A diet is the modern-day meal in which a family counts its calories instead of its blessings.A diet is what you go on when not only can't you fit into the store's dresses, you can't fit into the dressing room.One guideline applies to fat and thin people alike: If you're thin, don't eat fast. If you're fat, don't eat - FAST.

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Amazing Image Found In A Concrete Floor


This image of Jesus has been uncovered in the cement of a factory floor in Wolverhampton.
The convincing likeness of the son of God may look like it was intentionally created, but it was actually the result of a flash flood after a torrential downpour.
During the hour-long rain storm, water surged into the reception of EMS Maintenance in Willenhall, Wolverhampton.
MORE STORIES:Jesus image appears on dog++++Miracle seeker in Jesus plummet
Desperate staff grabbed mops and buckets to get the torrent under control but the concrete floor was quickly submerged under eight inches of water.
The workforce was sent home during the flood and when they returned the next day, they were met by the 5in image of Christ
"I was on my way through reception and upstairs when I just caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of my eye," said supervisor Jason Prosser.
"It was immediately obvious it resembled a face - and the similarities with the traditional image of Christ are very striking."

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Woman Fined For Trying To Keep The Peace


Woman faces fines for wreath peace sign
A homeowners association in southwestern Colorado has threatened to fine a resident $25 a day until she removes a Christmas wreath with a peace sign that some say is an anti-Iraq war protest or a symbol of Satan.Some residents who have complained have children serving in Iraq, said Bob Kearns, president of the Loma Linda Homeowners Association in Pagosa Springs. He said some residents have also believed it was a symbol of Satan. Three or four residents complained, he said.Lisa Jensen said she wasn't thinking of the war when she hung the wreath. She said, "Peace is way bigger than not being at war. This is a spiritual thing."

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Architecture Trivia




Although construction of the Notre Dame Cathedral in Strasbourg started in 1015, it was not until 1439 that the spire was completed.
Ancient Chinese artists would never paint pictures of women's feet.
At the age of 26, Michelangelo began sculpting his monumental statue of David. He finished it seventeen months later, in January, 1504.
Currently the world's tallest building is the Petronas Tower in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. The Petronas Towers measures 1,483ft.
During a severe windstorm or rainstorm the Empire State Building may sway several feet to either side.
England's Stonehenge is 1500 years older than Rome's Colosseum.
Evard Ericksen sculpted "The Little Mermaid" statue which is located in Copenhagen harbor.
Frederic-August Bartholdi sculpted The Statue of Liberty.
If any of the heads on Mt. Rushmore had a body, it would be nearly 500 feet tall.
In 1925, the 1st motel -- the "Motel Inn" -- opened in San Luis Obispo, California.
Jayne Mansfield decorated her "Pink Palace" by writing to 1,500 furniture and building suppliers and asking for free samples. She told the donors they could then brag that their goods were in her outlandish mansion. The pitch worked, and Jayne received over $150,000 worth of free merchandise.
Nobody is buried in Grant's tomb. President & Mrs. Grant are entombed there. A body is buried only when it is placed in the ground and covered with dirt.
On July 28th, 1945, a US Army bomber crashed into the 79th floor of New York's Empire State Building, killing 14 people.
Pablo Picasso's career lasted seventy-eight years, from 1895 until his death in 1973.
The Eiffel Tower is 984 feet high.
The Eiffel Tower receives a fresh coat of 300 tons of reddish-green paint every seven years.
The estimated weight of the Great Pyramid of Egypt is 6,648,000 tons.
The extended right arm of the Statue of Liberty is 42 feet long.
The first footprints at Grauman's Chinese Theater (now Mann's Chinese Theater), were made by Norma Talmadge in 1927. Legend has it that she accidentally stepped in wet concrete outside the building. Since then, over 180 stars have been immortalized, along with their hands and feet and even noses (Jimmy Durante).
The great Gothic cathedral of Milan was started in 1386, and wasn't completed until 1805.
The Hoover Dam was built to last 2,000 years. The concrete in it will not even be fully cured for another 500 years.

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From Mississippi we receive word that the police chief of a small town was arrested after he ran into the back of another car while under the influence. He attempted to explain that he was chasing the vehicle after it ran a red light. This was hard to believe because the car in question had no tires and was up on blocks. His license was suspended.

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Monday, November 27, 2006

Intersting Links To Literary Items



LITERARY LOCALES:Did you ever wanted to know what Shakespeare's birthplace looked like? Or Beatrix Potter's house and garden? What Boris Pasternak's Peredelkino looked like? oR Emily Brontë's Wuthering Heights?Literary Locales has more than 1,000 picture links to places that figure in the lives and writings of famous authors.
Permalink

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Whoaa Order Me A Bunch



5ft Pre-lit Upside Down Ceiling Tree - Clear Bulbs
Item No. 172414
Kmart: $299.99
Kids will love this tree as it leaves even more room for presents! The tree hangs from the ceiling and is a not only a great conversation piece, but very practical as well, taking up virtually no floor space. This specialty foliage tree has 550 Clear bulbs and 2050 tips.

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Things To Ponder


I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.~I'm not having hot flashes, I'm having power surges! ~I am Woman. I am Invincible. I am Tired!!!!~Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.~Young at Heart. Slightly Older in Other Places.~Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I will show you a man who can't get his pants off!~Indecision is the key to flexibility.~Having an out of body experience. Back in five. ~Time is Nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen all at once.~If at first you don't succeed, to heck with it.~Do unto others............ then run.~Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid doing altogether.~I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.~If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?~It's gonna be like threading a needle with a haystack.~Am I getting smart with you? ....How would you know?

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Giddy-Up


A blonde goes horse back riding. It starts out slow, but then it starts to gallop. The blonde is enjoying herself. All of a sudden she slips off and her foot gets caught in the reins. The horse doesn't stop and the blonde is still being dragged upside down. She doesn't know what to do. Finally the Wal-Mart manager comes and unplugs it

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Cow On The Train Tracks



* A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside."What's going on?" she yells out the window."Cow on the track!" replies the conductor.Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace.Within five minutes, however, it stops again.The woman sees the same conductor walk again.She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?"

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Naughty, Naughty




A man walks into a bar and says "Bartender gimme a triple shot of Jack". The bartender pours, and the man downs it, slams the glass on the bar and says "Another".The bartender pours another. The man downs it and says "Another".As the bartender pours the third glass he says, "Mister you drink like you have a problem. Want to talk about it?"The man says, "Ten years, ten years I've been married to my wife, and today I go home a little early to surprise her, and I find my best friend, MY BEST FRIEND, in bed having sex with her."The bartender says "Geez, what did you say."The man says " I told him, BAD DOG! BAD DOG!"

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Spam&Beans = Gasticity


Before "spam" became synonymous with unsolicited junk emails, Hormel spent some good money advertising this canned food wonder. This Dec 1969 ad in National Geographics boasted how Spam with Lima beans "hit the spot."
Link - from AdFlip, which has a *huge* repository of vintage print ads.

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